Dealing with change

“Change might be the ‘only constant in life,’ but that doesn’t mean we ever get used to it.”

I mean with a view like this 2 minutes away, of course I was going to miss my little flat in Preston

This post is a little different. But it does *kind of* explain why my little blog has been neglected over the last few weeks.

I recently decided to move home to my parents’ house permanently. My flatmate and I found the perfect flat for us back in March, not realising our move-in date would coincide with a national lockdown and since then I’ve still not returned to my office, meaning I didn’t really need a flat in Preston anymore.

If we’ve learnt anything this year, it’s to adapt. The world as we know it has been thrown upside down all thanks to COVID, but it doesn’t mean everything else has stopped and life continues to change and evolve.

Change might be the ‘only constant in life,’ but that doesn’t mean we ever get used to it.

Change can be responsive to actions and decisions made by an outside force, something we can’t control.

Other times change is a result of a decision you’ve made yourself. Getting a new job, ending a relationship, taking up running or in my case, moving home.

In the first instance, the change is all you need to focus on. Whereas with the latter, you have the doubt and discrediting of your own mind, your own decision. You think ‘why am I doing this?’ ‘Is this what I want?’ ‘Is this the right thing to do?’

So, what’s the big deal?

I’d lived in Preston for just over five years after moving there for uni, I don’t think I thought much of the future at that point, but I wouldn’t have been able to picture myself still calling this city home two years after graduating.

If it wasn’t for the pandemic causing me to work from home for the foreseeable future, I don’t think I would consider leaving. If it wasn’t the social scene I’d adapted to over the past five years shutting down, I definitely wouldn’t consider leaving.

While the situation was entirely new, the feeling wasn’t entirely unfamiliar.

But alas, I probably won’t be stepping foot in my office until Spring next year (and even then it will only be a couple of days a week) and having a nightout in Preston’s Warehouse seems even further from my grasp.

So, moving home is the best option for now. There is something comforting about being with my family during this pandemic – and I’ll save a remarkable amount of money.

It wasn’t until I came to spend my last week in Preston that I was faced with the gravitas and near-regret of my decision to leave.

What can we do?

Reflect

While the situation was entirely new, the feeling wasn’t entirely unfamiliar and I started to think about past experiences that have made me feel this way.

I started reflecting on when I have felt this way before and a few memories and experiences came to mind. While we shouldn’t put any of our feelings in a box, it can be comforting to remind ourselves we have been through similar experiences before – and we did get through it (or over it) in some shape or form.

Think about the positives

Yes, not every change in our lives always has a positive. But if not, why not? The pain of something ending, isn’t that sadness that we experienced something great and it’s now gone? Practice appreciating the memories.

Give yourself time
Any change, big or small, can have an affect on your life. Don’t force yourself to immediately re-adjust and get over something that has affected you. Write down your thoughts, talk them through with someone. Invalidating how you’re reacting will only slow the adjustment process down in the long-run. Don’t doubt yourself.

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